so sorry to have missed you

I think I may have just forgotten how much having a schedule exhausts me. In the two weeks I was back in St Louis prior to the start of school, I did not wake up to a blaring alarm, I stayed in my PJs all day, addison and I hung out and even took naps together. It was glorious and my blogging goals were very easy to achieve. I made bread with the best of them. I exercised everyday. I spoke love languages and I discovered how to raise confident girls. And then school came and I became my regular mess. Now there are no naps and I wake up to an annoying *beep* *beep* *beep*....and when I reach over to push Justin out of bed to shut off the alarm, I sadly realize that the alarm is set for me.

So....I have been slacking. The only goal I have stuck to 100% is the bread baking. Two weekends ago I made a delish focaccia bread and a sausage roll. Justin's reaction--"why do you have to be good at everything you try?" I will take that to mean I am a baking goddess. This weekend was a coffee cake with a brown sugar/pecan crust. It was gone in a couple days. I think I could have probably eaten it in one. Better not make that again.

I am working 20/hrs a week....techically volunteering for school credit .... at an immigration law firm for the semester. It is overwhelming. Each morning my mantra is "be the sponge, be the sponge." I hope its working. I don't think I could get any better training for my future endeavor. This placement has already lead to a lot of internal conversations for me (and no, not all about sponges) and I will save them for a later post....when I am not sitting in class...trying to fake like I am paying attention. I also found out that my cousin just got an internship at DHS (the head honcho of immigration regulation). It was nice knowing her I suppose. It is now our fate to be arch enemies.

So work, school and the recent goal of house-searching (which we need to complete before April 30). Defeated my overzealous blogging goals. Forgive me?

ouch!

I am one week down on my Body for Life. Last night I said to Justin "11 more weeks to go!" and he said, "No, don't count the weeks. Its a lifetime of change." I responded by swiftly kicking him out of the bed. I kid.

This week actually went extremely well....if extremely well means I was unable to walk for half of it because I was so sore. Justin tells me that means it went well. I followed the eating plan, which means I have to eat 6 times a day, once every 2-3 hours. This sounds like a pain in the hiney, but because I have been home, it is actually fun. In the book, they give a list of proteins and a list of carbs. You pick one from each list, slap them together (with a veggie should you choose) and you have a meal! This week, I have made things like spaghetti with turkey meatballs, shrimp tacos and turkey chili. To cut down on the work, I make a regular meal, then divide it into portion-sized tupperwear containers. Makes things much easier. The only thing I have really struggled with in this area is the lack of things to keep track of. I have never done a program where I didn't have to keep track of points or calories....and to tell you the truth, its a little unnerving. You are allowed one free day each week, which I took on Sunday. I was surprised by my restraint. My only real "off" food was 2 chewy chocolate chip cookies and some tostitos in my taco salad. Oh, and how could I forget. My delish bread! I am a lame cheater!

The workouts have been more of a stretch, but I am trucking along. Workout go as follows: arms, cardio, legs, cardio, and so on and so forth. Both the weights and cardio follow and intensity scale that is killer. To prove the point, Rileigh came downstairs one morning to make sure I was okay because I was yelling....weighted lunges, can you blame me? I have been working out in the mornings. I despise mornings. However, when I read in my book that working out for 20 minutes in the morning is the same as working out for 1 hr in the evening....I decided I would stick with mornings.

I was happy with the scale progress: -1.6 this week. However, I am going to have to stop the weekly weigh-ins (another first for me!) because both Justin and the book say that with an intense weighs program, the scale might not reflect the changes accurately and instead leaving me feeling discouraged if I become so stuck on numbers. Instead Justin is going to bring home the body fat measuring-thing-a-ma-bob once every four weeks. I am scared of that.

Well, its time for me to hobble to the kitchen for another meal...ow.....ow......ow......oh man, its going to be another long week. Repeat after me, I love the pain, I love the pain.....oh, who am I kidding!

Mama Mia...

Today might not be the greatest day to blog about my children. I am fairly certain that today, if allowed, I would have sold my children to the highest bidder on eBay. Okay, that's not true. They probably wouldn't have even had to be the highest bidder. Just the first one.

This is how I always feel after leading a girl scout meeting. Trying to shepherd 19 girls into doing something semi-crafty in a limited timeframe without losing my mind makes me fully confident in the fact that those "19 kids and Counting" people are completely out of their gourds. However, the second the clock hit 8:30pm, I carted the wee ones off to bed and have been able to calm down a bit....so, I think I am good.

Anyway, Justin and I read the first 3 tips from the book "Raising Confident Girls," and have spent the last week trying to implement them every day (and usually just with Rileigh....if you give Addison a piece of chocolate, all is right in her world for at least a week...she's easy).

1. Help her to believe in herself: Here they suggested trying things like allowing your child to take on some personal responsibilities. When I read this, I knew exactly what I was going to try for the week. Rileigh wants to take showers. One problem. She treats water like boiling acid that will sear off her entire face if it even comes near it. Yep, its that bad. So we have spent countless mornings with me yelling at her to actually get her head wet and making her get back in the shower to rinse out the shampoo she has smeared everywhere, but has barely rinsed out. It can get pretty ugly. This week, I vowed to keep my temper in check and help her to learn to shower on her own in a way that prevents her from being the smelly kid in class and still allows her to do it on her own. We discovered if we hang a towel over the door of the shower and she can wipe her eyes every 5 seconds....we can get it done. I stand outside the shower and mimic what she should be doing....and so far its been a success! No yelling, no crying...no leaving the house with shampoo hair!

2. Show her you understand her. This was my favorite one to practice. One of the suggestions under this tip was to show your daughter that you value her uniqueness and tell her what you treasure about her. Rileigh is not short on uniqueness! Justin and I made a deal that for one week each of us would randomly tell Rileigh one thing everyday that we loved about her. This was a great way to really think about Rileigh and caused me to look at her with fresh eyes. I had fun coming up with particular treasures. Por ehemplo (going bilingual on you all!) Justin told her one day that he loves that she has fun with everything she does and goes into situations with a positive attitude. One day I told Rileigh that admire her because she is always willing to try new things, no matter if it involves doing something or going somewhere where she doesn't know anyone....and she always comes out of those situations making new friends. We loved telling her these things....and by the way her face lit up, I know she loved hearing them as well.

3. Approve of who she is even if you dislike what she does. This really had to do with discipline. I was thankful to have a strategy to work on this aspect. I know it is not shocking, but I am a yeller. I hate that I am a yeller, but I do it. Under this tip, it gave suggestions on how to approach situations in which you child is showing a behavior or doing something you don't approve of. One thing suggested was to remove "good" and "bad" from your vocab when talking about behavior as it could be taken as a reflection of herself, personally, rather than the behavior. Instead, they suggested talking about the particular behavior. For example--"When you yell while I am on the phone, it makes it very difficult for me to hear the other person and it not very polite." That was a lame example, but I am doing this on the fly. I kick booty on this this week. I kicked booty because it was my mission to kick booty on this. I notice a SIGNIFICANT change in the harmony of the house because of this. No fighting...just talking. And what do you know, Ri is much more perceptive to this than my yelling. Shocking, I know. In fact, I think I did better than Justin in this category this week (even though he is NOT a yeller). Maybe I will get to steal his #1 dad trophy. Yessssss!

Okay, well I need to wake up Justin so we can read the next 3 tips for the upcoming week. So far, so good. I am digging this book.

3.

No knead

So one of my missions this year was to learn to do new fun things, like baking. That was when I thought baking was fun. Today I learned that baking is hard. Armed with my trusty Bread Bible and brand new bread loaf pan, I figured I could knock out a couple of bread recipes, no problemo. I started with a basic loaf of white bread. I followed the instructions to the letter. I did try to take the short cut and use my big electric mixer. My Bible said it was okay to use, but advised making it by hand the first time so I could feel what the dough was like at each stage. Mostly I chose to use the electric mixer because I didn't have a wooden spoon and the Bible specifically said I needed to mix with a wooden spoon. I was afraid that if I used a spatula or a plastic spoon it would cause a chemical reaction and my kitchen would blow up. So I used the mixer, followed the instructions....and this is what happened.

Yep, that's half the dough in the bowl...flaky and floury...and the other half in a stiff ball.

Bread: Fail

Well, shoot. That didn't go as planned. But I trashed the dough, regrouped, bought a wooden spoon and eventually accomplished my mission. In the process here is what I learned:

1. Breadmaking is personal. The instructions are nothing more than a guide...you have to tailor them to your kitchen and your ingredients and you perception. This was the cause of the disastrous first dough. I added cups and cups of flour to match what the recipe called for....and ended up with a floury mess.

2. You really have to get a feel for the dough. The Bible really meant it when it said that its important to make your first batch of bread by hand so you can feel the dough at each stage. When I made my second batch of dough, it felt right after adding only 3/4 of the amount of flour the recipe called for, so I stopped there....and it worked just fine. That just reiterates the first point....the instructions are the guide, but the dough itself is more instructive when it comes to what needs to be added.

3. Making bread takes patience. You finish one process and think you are done, but then you have to let it rise. Then you think you are done, but you have to punch it down and shape it. Then you think you are done, but you have to let it rise again. I kept thinking, "when it is time to put the damn loaf in the oven?!?" I really should have added 'patience' to my resolution dance, oh well.

4. Bread loaves are like your babies. You made them with love...and will look at them adoringly. Even when they are ugly (although I wouldn't know how this feels because I have beautiful babies...and beautiful bread)

So now, the process.....in a picture montage:

All my equipment...prepped and ready, with such high hopes...before they were dashed by the stinking electric mixer.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Another step to wait on. Proofing the yeast. It looks gross and it smells like stale beer, but I guess thats a good thing for bread.

Kneading my dough. I liked this part. The book describes how you need to get your whole body into it. You know, show it who's boss.

My white bread after it rose for 2 hours. I had to give it a little poke to make sure it had risen. I mean, I could tell it had risen because it was much bigger than when I put it in the bowl the first time, but the Bible said give it a poke, so I gave it a poke.

My french loaves....aren't they gorgeous! Don't mind the lumpy one in the back...

My white Mountain bread. I don't know what makes it Mountain bread, but that's what it is called. Oh, and that is my new loaf pan. Its pretty too.
The test slices. With butter and honey. This is why I have to have my Body for Life "free day" on bread making day. Otherwise, I would never be able to sample the bread the way it is meant to be sampled....with loads of honey and butter.
See, Rileigh thinks its so good it is making her a little crazy.

Oh, and this one is just for fun:

Addison was helping me bake and asked me to take her picture. This is how she posed. Weirdo. See, I told you my children are beautiful.

Maybe I should said patience.

Because I have none. No, I have not done away with my new year's resolutions already. However, the crux of my plan...the books I ordered....that were supposed to be here last MONDAY will not be here until SUNDAY. I did not buy a book on patience. Maybe I should have looked into that....

Body for Life: Day One

I have had many a "day one." Usually I am filled with gusto and rearing to attack the plan head on. Today....I am just tired. Justin thought I would feel much better if I got up at 6 am, like he does, and get my work out in. One problem. I. Hate. Mornings. Buuuuut, I did get up, I did work out...and I currently cannot lift my arms above my head. Justin says I will learn to love this feeling...and even crave it. I think he is a masochist that I will not ever become, but that is okay. I am going to do it anyway.

I read through most of the book yesterday. About 85% of the book deals with the mental aspect of getting in shape. Actually that makes sense to me. I get the "eat smaller portions, eat better food, eat more frequently, exercise more" part. It is always the psych-myself-out-so-much-that-i-binge-on-an-entire-package-of-oreos-part that gets me. I suppose that is why Jillian is always screaming at people and tells them how sad they are, makes them cry and then hugs them and they lose 100lbs. Same idea, right? So while I don't have Jillian screaming in my ear, I do have good ol Mr. Phillips (you know, the author) asking me to write out concrete goals (not dreams, mind you) that I hope to achieve over the next 12-weeks and why those goals are important to me and what will potentially hold me back. I always feel like a total cheeseball when I am asked to make goals. Its not that I dont have them, I do, of course. They just seem so silly when I take them out of my head and stick them on a piece of paper. BUT I did it, don't worry Mr. Phillips. I did it.

So far today, I have had 2 meals and 45 minutes worth of weight lifting. I also avoided a potential disaster. Somehow I thought it would be a great plan to warm up left over pizza for Addison for lunch. Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza mind you. Apparently I am more of a masochist than I thought....hmmm.

Anyway, the plan for the rest of the week: 6 meals a day for the rest of the week, drinking more water! and workouts as follows: running wednesday, legs thursday, running friday, FREE DAY SAT!, back to arms on sunday and running again on Monday.

Although I will never place my actually weight out there for all the world wide web to see, next week I will let you know the negative or (godforbid!) any points on the ol' scale.

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!

Hopefully you have not given up on me. Pretty, pretty please come back. It will be fun, I promise. Its just that December was its usual mix of craziness and I simply had no time. Actually, I feel like while I was hanging out with November, December slipped a little something in my DDP and I woke up next to January, used and abused. However, I am going to put that behind me. I am ready for 2010 and I am coming out swinging.

I have a plan. I love my plan. When I try to make other people love my plan, they tell me I am crazy. Thats how I know it is a good plan. This plan was born while I watched Julie and Julia (guuuureat movie btw). I decided my blog had ADD and while I enjoy writing it, it is in desperate need of some focus. Enter "The Challenge." 6 books--6 different areas--12 weeks of self-improvement. Each day, I will update the weekly improvements in that area. Oh, and day 7, I rest.

So the Goals:

1. Improve Myself Physically

The Book: Body For Life

I have started reading this one. Actually this is the reason behind the 12-weeks as that is how long the challenge in this book lasts. It is a nutrition and exercise guide....basically a total boot camp that you follow for 6 days a week. Plus it comes with pictures. Oh, and I have a real-life picture too....its the program my brother followed that now results in those people who have not seen him since high school literally having to pick their jaw up off the floor. Here's to breaking jaws.

2. Improve Myself Mentally

The Book: Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill

A Buddhist monk should be a great teacher, right? I am not entirely sure what this book entails....i mean besides the key to happiness.

3. Improve My Finances

The Book: Miserly Moms

I was deciding between this book and Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I decided to go with the book geared specifically towards Moms. That and I think you actually have to have a little money in the first place in order to go with Mr. Ramsey.

4. Become a Better Parent

The book: Raising Confident Girls
Justin and I are going to read this one together. I realize I cannot become the parent I would love to be in 12-weeks. I have a feeling that is going to be a lifelong struggle. However, I am hoping that this will provide some insight for both Justin and I....and that we can use this as a guidepost for raising confident, self-assured young women who can communicate with their parents freely and effectively.

5. Become a Better Wife

The Book: The Five Love Languages
I have heard a lot about this book and am excited to read it. Actually Justin and I are also going to read this one together. We had previously read Men are like Waffles--Women are like Spaghetti and I still use that as a way of understanding why my husband does what he does or may think the way he thinks.

And finally

6. Have more fun

The Book: The Bread Bible

Okay, so maybe learning to bake bread is a totally lame kind of fun. I admit that. However, there are several things I have thought I would like to learn to do, but always find an excuse not to. I am going to take the first 4 weeks of the challenge to use this book. For the second 4 weeks, I will pick another fun thing I have been wanting to learn (perhaps knitting or sewing...does that make me old?!?) and the last 4 weeks for something else (like learning to use photoshop or furniture staining) It shall be interesting to see how bread making works with goal #1....hmmmm....

I really hate New Year's Resolutions. I feel like no one sticks to them. So, I am going to call this a quest for self improvement.....that just happens to be at the beginning of the year. Here goes nothing!