The Inspirer

I have done many a personality test. Part of the social work curriculum is delving deep into yourself and discovering all your internal facets. Some tests are pretty pointless and easy to manipulate to get the desired personality outcome. This week for one of my courses I had to take the Myers-Briggs. I have probably taken it before, but never really paid much attention to what the results said about me. When I read the outcome this time, I was utterly shocked with how accurate it was.I am an ENFP, also known as the inspirer. Here are some of the things the experts say about ENFP's:

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

I have always thought of myself as an ever optimist. I work very hard to see the silver lining in any situation. As far as being excited.....anyone who has ever been shopping with me knows how I get excited even over the most simple things in life. My husband would probably agree (and probably hates) that I usually can talk my way out of a situation....thats why I win all the arguments. Although, when I read him this portion, he was quick to point out the time I tried to talk my way out of a ticket from a state trooper...didn't go so well.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

This is a running joke in my family. I start projects with big ideas and great enthusiasm.....and then lose interest. When we were remodeling our house, I would go from room to room doing the demolition and make some headway on putting things back together, then move to another room. Poor Justin always had to come in and finish up the projects I started.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Nothing drives me more crazy then to know that someone doesn't care for me. I also have a habit of flirting like crazy with just about anyone, not because I am attracted to them, but probably because I have this inherent need to be liked. As for the second part, here is a prime example...Last year I let my license expire. Because of that, I had to retake the entire driver's test....including the actual driving part. In the 15 minutes it took to complete my driving portion, the DMV woman doing my ride along told me about her one night stand shortly after her divorce that resulted in a pregnancy, which she nearly ended with an abortion but decided against it because of some kind of divine intervention. Yep, I was shocked too. But she said she felt comfortable talking with me and just felt like I really understood her.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

I cannot keep a schedule. I am messy and unorganized. Too much detail and too much scheduling makes me itch. I just cannot handle it. I know it drives people crazy that I always make last minute plans. Normally, I know the rough outline of my day, but that is about it. And you know what? That is just okay by me!

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want

Not the greatest attribute, but something to be aware of. This is definitely something I have to watch in myself....If I know it is something I am prone to, it is also something I can avoid.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

I cannot think of something more closely descriptive of me and how I operate! That is why the thought of working at a large firm makes my stomach turn. I simply could not handle it.

The full profile can be seen at http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP.html

Oh, and in case you were wondering, Justin is an ENTJ, the executive. They say you are normally most compatible with your exact opposite, like the yin to your yang. BUT I could never picture myself with an introvert!

Some Famous ENFPs:

Will Rogers, Theodor "Dr." Seuss Geisel, Paul Harvey, Bill Cosby, Dave Thomas, Meg Ryan, Robin Williams, Sandra Bullock, Alicia Silverstone, Regis Philbin

You can also take the Myer-Briggs on the personalitypage website. Rumor is that the ol' 'birds of a feather' saying is especially true in groups of friends. What is your result?

Wedding Weekends

Another weekend, another trip out of St Louis for the Heeke family. Weddings and wedding events have been consuming our lives as of late. It a great thing that I just love weddings (re: last post regarding any kind of celebration) or else I would be half crazy by now (or maybe whole crazy.....as I may already be at the half-way point...)

First up was my cousin, Abby's wedding on Sept. 5. Now I realize that was several weeks ago, but I never shared my thoughts or photos of the event. I feel completely confident in saying that it was one of the most beautiful and unique weddings I have ever been to. First, the scenery....the wedding took place outdoors at a botanical garden. That provided the most gorgeous backdrop in and of itself. Second for me was the photobooth. I now have the most adorable pictures with my grandparents. It was so much fun. Finally, the food and drink set up was so cool. There was an outdoor bar set up and the beer glasses were adorned with a chalkboard circle that you could chalk your name onto. My dinner was served in a margarita glass with chipotle potatoes.....who even knew those existed?!? Of course it goes without saying that the bride was gorgeous....and so incredibly fun to celebrate. Is there a word for the utmost opposite of bridezilla? Because if there is....thats what she was.

This past weekend, we went back to Kansas for the wedding of one of Justin's high school friends. Justin has a group of friends from high school that I truly and utterly adore. Their bonds of friendship blow my mind and I am thankful that they allow me to be a part of their circle. I wish I would have planned things out a little better so that I could have gotten in some QT time with these friends that I rarely get to see now, but I was thankful for the time that I did have. It is still shocking to me when one of "my" boys is in a serious relationship...let alone get married! The bride and the groom both have hearts of gold and I could not have been more happy for them. Now that the women of the group are growing in numbers.....maybe we can start our own club

So next up is my brother's wedding in Lawrence on Oct 9. I am super excited, but I am trying to prepare myself for it emotionally. No one wants a sloppy mess standing up at the altar....

All of these weddings left me asking myself....what exactly is my favorite part of a wedding? Hard to pick....but I think it might just be the toasts (usually....sometimes you get a lame MOH or Best Man). What's yours?

Give me a reason to celebrate.

I adore holidays. Any of them. In fact, just tell me its a holiday and I will find a way to decorate and/or celebrate. Always #1 is birthdays (that's a holiday...right?) followed closely by Christmas. Both mean lots of celebrating and lots of family. 

So the next holiday on the list is Halloween. Last year was so much fun for us. We decided to dress up as a family. It turned out so adorable: 

This year we decided we would keep going with the family halloween. I have been trying to start the planning early, as last year I was wrapping Justin's jeans with duct tape at 2am. Rileigh went through various ideas before finally deciding on Mariokart. I was pretty excited about the idea.....and then I started looking for costumes for Rileigh (aka Princess Peach)

It was much harder than I thought it would be. All the Princess Peach costumes I found looked cheap but cost a fortune. I thought it would be super easy to find a premade costume....but now I am going with plan B....making the costume. This is a problem because I can't sew, but I think I may have found the perfect solution (thank you ebay!)

My plan is to remove the bow around the waist and replace it with a dark pink one and add on the dark pink draping at the hips. I am going to attempt to add some poofy sleeves....but as a non-sewing person, I am not sure how that will work. I also found a long blonde wig that I am going to hot glue a crown onto. Find some blue jewels......add some white loves.....and VIOLA! Perfect Princess Peach. 

I think Addison will be Toad. My plan for that is to paper mache a mushroom hat onto a bike helmet and paint it to match toad's. Other than that, its just white pants and a vest....and VIOLA! Perfect little Toad. 

And....I think its pretty obvious which of one of us will be mario and which will be luigi. Hmm....wonder if I can grow a mustache by then.....

What was your favorite Halloween costume of all time?

oh baby

On the days when school is hard and the job search is thankless, I like to think about what kind of career would be fun if I didn't have to worry about whether or not it succeeded or failed. I stay slightly realistic...you know, I am not dreaming of becoming the next Taylor Swift, although I suppose I am too old for that anyway. I try to stick to a semi-realistic fantasy. Lately in my daydreams, I have become the owner of a chic baby boutique. 

Really what lead me to daydream about this is my love of baby photos. But I do not dream of being a baby photographer. Too much pressure. I want it to be a hobby, so I don't have the pressure of someone paying me specifically to capture the essence and innocence of a baby in a few shots taken over the span of a 1/2 hour. Makes me nervous just thinking about it.  

So here is my plan-- I would offer announcement sessions. The packet would allow you to choose one of several premade announcements designed by one of the fabulous graphic designers I know. They make things that are beyond what you could find online. True talent. You bring your baby in and I would do a short session...we are talking 20 minutes or less. You purchase a packet that has the photo of your choice placed in the announcement of your choice all on a disk that you get to take home. That way you print as many as you need and have a digital copy to keep forever. For an added fee, you could also have all of the photos from the session included on the disk. 

That is the vision that has spurned the desire to own a baby boutique. From there the vision has grown. You would be surprised at how hard it is to find those adorable baby bows with flowers. I searched all over for them when addison was young. I would totally have them at my store. What I have learned from having many nephews is that adorable boy clothes are much more difficult to find than adorable girl clothes. I would have those too. (little newsboy caps would be a requirement....and sweater vests)

Anywho, to appease my desires for a while, I took my baby out for a few shots in the backyard. We only last about 15 minutes before we were under full-fledge attack from the mutated mosquitoes in our backyard, but I was pleasantly surprised by the results. (now...if only I could squash my desire for a new camera....)

So what is your daydream career?

A few weeks ago, Jamie posted a blog about her bucket list (...and I agree, Jamie, life IS to short to live in Missouri). Since then, I have been thinking about what would be on my list. Here, in no particular order, is my bucket list: 

1. Pay my parents back for all the support (financial...emotional...just all around) they have provided in my adult life.  I get a lot of credit for what I have and am attempting to accomplish in my life, but it is completely a joint effort. Justin and I have spent many a night talking about being able to take each of my parents on a vacation. My dad has talked for years about wanting to go to Ireland, but I know he will never do it on his own. I have not nailed down the exact place we would take my mom, but recently I have been leaning towards Greece. I regularly daydream about a Christmas sometime when we are able to wrap up a ticket and a travel book....its makes me smile every time I think about it. 

2. Be fit enough to wear a bikini. And be confident enough to strut my stuff it in. We are talking confident enough to not have to find a place to put my towel directly beside the edge of the pool so I can scurry out and wrap up as fast as I can when I get out of the pool. 

3. Start my own business. I go back and forth between exactly what I want to do on this one, but I know it will benefit teen mothers. My life was changed forever by become a mom at 18. I often say it saved my life. Amy Falcon from Catholic Social Services will always hold a special place in my heart for what she was to me during that time. I want to be that for someone. Originally I wanted to start a half-way house for single teen moms that had in-house daycare, job training, schooling, parenting classes....everything they would need to springboard into a successful life. Now I am leaning more towards an adoption agency with pregnancy counseling and a teen mothers outreach program. Either way, I have had the name selected for years. Without Wings (or variations: spanish- sin alas; french- sans les ailes; italian- senza le ali) I wrote an article once while in college about my experiences in the teen mom's program....for me, those people were angels on earth--ones without wings.

4. Learn to cook. I mean really learn to cook. Right now, I can follow a recipe and all turns out well. I want to take some classical cooking courses. I want to be able to taste a sauce and know exactly what needs to be added. I want to bake a pie from scratch. I want to make plates of food that look like art.

5. Live close enough to family that I can recreate Wednesday night pizza. One of my favorite parts of my childhood was meeting with the Dolls every week at Pizza Hut. Our numbers went up and down depending on sports or guests, but it always happened. And even when I had a bad attitude and would sit in the car listening to music the minute I was done eating, I always, always loved it. I want my kids to be as close to their extended family as I was. My family makes up my very best of friends. I want nothing less for my children.

6. Learn to Dance. Partner dance, that is. I know Justin's parents were good dancers. They even used to teach dance lessons. I have been whirled around the dance floor a few times by his dad and I am lucky I did not break my neck. I would love to learn the swirly fast high energy country dances and the slow romantic waltz style dances and the fun, goofy swing dances. I would love to go to a wedding dance and be able to do something more than shift from foot to foot while making our way around in a small circle.

7. Travel across the country for the ultimate road trip. Serious, like a month long. I want to start at one coast and head to the other. Justin has talked about wanting to someday get a big conversion van, gut it and customize the inside with a tv and limo-style seats. Don't worry, when I first heard it, I laughed too. But now I imagine loading my kids up and stopping at all the amazing sites that this country holds. Plus, I really want to see Mount Rushmore.

8. Become a foster parent. This is something that scares me, but I know that I will do. Justin and I have talked about this on several occasions and he is onboard. He is such an amazing dad to our two children, I cannot imagine how much he will be able to enrich the lives of children who are in need of a wonderful role model.

9. Be on Wheel of Fortune. I have signed up to be on this show several times, but they have never come calling. I think I could be really good. If it was NFL week, I would ask David Akers to be my partner.

10. Become a runner. I DETEST running. Seriously. Mostly because I run two steps and feel like I am going to die. There for a while, I was up to 1.5 miles of non-stop running. I didn't enjoy it, but I was SO proud that I could do it even though it was super hard for me. I would love to be one of those people who can get up early and get in 5 miles before work in the morning. I think I would have more energy and better mental focus and just become and overall better person.

So there you have it.

What's on your list?

Beep-Beep!

I never really liked the Roadrunner cartoons. I always felt bad for the coyote. What he wants most in life is always just beyond his grasp. Well that, and he always gets blown up. That can't be fun. 

Aside from blowing himself up, there was the inevitable drop of doom. You remember? He would always be running and running and suddenly find himself hanging out 100 ft in the air, having inadvertently run off the edge of the cliff and all he could do to try an stave of the plunge into the great abyss was to just keep running and running as fast as he could. However, no amount of running could save him from the big KA-BOOM! Well, I have never felt more like Wild E Coyote. Today I got my ka-boom. 

I have always had a lot on my plate. Its the way I like my life. I live and breathe chaos.....usually self-instigated chaos. I have a short attention span. I need deadlines, I like to be in charge and I produce my best work under pressure. (hence the reason i really loved my stint in newspapers). On the flip side, I feel confined by schedules and despite all the "Real Simple" magazines I have tabbed, I am just not an organized person. I am type B at its finest. 

Despite all of this, I manage. And not to toot my own horn, but I think I manage pretty well. I have always had people tell me "I don't know how you do it all" and the truth is I can do it because I don't think about it (well that and I have an amazing husband who understands my craziness and picks up all the slack! he is the yin to my yang) Maybe thats why I hate schedules. If I have to plan it all out, I feel overwhelmed by the weight of it all. So instead each week I just close my eyes and run full speed ahead.....and most of the time it works. 

The last few weeks I have been running and running and running at beyond full speed and even then I cannot seem to keep up. In trying balancing family, school, work and ME it seems like I only have the chance to glance at each as I am flying by. This week I discovered I had run off the cliff. Despite all I had learned from my years of Coyote empathy,  I thought if I just kept running I could save myself from the fall. Boy was I wrong. 

What I realized is the only way to prevent the fall is to stop running before you reach the ledge. Freaking genius right? Nope, that was the easy part to realize. Its the 'how' that always gets me. The "I don't know how you do it all" is so much easier for me to answer than if I had to ask myself ""How can you NOT do it all."  I suddenly need to learn a new word.....no. And I need to learn that the world still moves forward when I say it. I think I can do this....

Hopefully now the only thing Wild E Coyote and I will ever have in common is our hairy legs. 

Question of the day: What do you to relieve stress?

i'm here to pump.....you up!

I think if I listed all my hobbies, I would have to list dieting as one of them. Not that I enjoy it (I actually loathe it!) but it seems that I am always doing it and exploring it in about every form it has every existed. Master Cleanse? Check. Slimfast? Check. Weight Watchers? Check. Check. Check. As with most of my other hobbies, I begin with gusto, but lose interest quickly. It always seems to be all consuming....so I end up choosing none instead of all. 

My husband is a fitness nut. When I say nut, I mean nut. He stands at the kitchen sink each night choking down a can of tuna or something equally disgusting. I hear him wretching. A normal person would put the can down and walk away. Not Justin. He subjects himself to this repeatedly. See, I told you. Certifiable. He is also obsessed with working out. If he has to miss a workout, the heeke house is not a happy house. Justin is not a morning person. He is about a 5-snooze average. That could very well be even higher if I did not physically shove him out of bed by the 5th alarm with threats of even greater repercussions if he even THINKS about getting back under the covers. That being said, he is out of the house before 6am and hardly ever misses.

How do we coexist? Last night our worlds collided and as a result, today I cannot lift my arms above my head. Justin has decide (and I agreed) that he is going to train me 4 nights a week. We invested in some adjustable dumbells and we already have an eliptical machine, exercise ball and punching bag. Day 1 was arms.....and arms.....and arms. By the end when he had me doing push ups (i know...can you imagine? me? push ups?) I was shaking like a leaf with my rear high up in the air, like a kindergarten in gym class.  He got me good. 

Only cardio today. I think I will have to take it to the streets. For some odd reason, the eliptical machine seems to make my toes numb. Its weird and I don't like it. Maybe I can convince Rileigh to go with me. She will probably run circles around me....oh well. 

Todays question (as I dream of food...): what is your favorite guilty food pleasure?