Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Utter and Complete Randomness....try to keep up.

My life is a jumbled mess most days. These last few weeks have been no exception. As a tribute to my mixed up world, here is a slew of unrelated thoughts:

First, a bit of humor brought to you by my 2-year-old. This weekend I braved it alone with the girls while dad took a much deserved vacay to Wichita to hang with his friends and do man things. At the end of night one, I was putting Addison in her jammies so that we could all pile into my bed and watch the movies we had just picked up from the Red Box (1st time doing so....it is an amazing contraption...but I digress). I get her pants on and as she is standing there shirtless, she points to one of her miniature mosquito bites and says "I have one boobie" then points to the other and declares "And I have anudder boobie." She then looks up at my quizzically and asks, "You have boobies momma?" to which I answer in the affirmative. My darling daughter then stares at me for a moment before retorting, "No momma, you have coconuts." Ummm, excuse me? I sat there with my mouth agape momentarily before deciding I could not argue her logic.....but perhaps a grapefruit might be a better descriptor....

Second bit on my mind. Last night I dreamt of saving a goose. Yep, you heard me correctly. I could have dreamt of marrying Brad Pitt (had to edit this. as proof of my current state of craziness, I originally wrote Tom Cruise. I HATE Tom Cruise) or losing 50 lbs and becoming a supermodel or winning the super-duper jackpot. But no, I spent a good portion of the night dreaming about my plan to save a goose that had laid an egg underneath my house. I forgot to mention that in this dream I lived in a house raised up on cinderblocks. C-laas-E. My life really needs to get more interesting. At this point, even my dreams are lame.

Speaking of houses, my time as of late has been consumed in attempting to get our house in market shape. My dad's best friend just happens to be our realtor. His general opinion is that my life is a chaotic mess. Generally he would be correct. However, when he bet my dad $1 that we would not have the house ready for market by next Monday, I was determined to get that dollar in my dad's pocket. Saturday and Sunday I spent the majority of the day cleaning all the unnecessary furniture, clothes, toys and junk out of my children's rooms. From Rileigh's room alone, I took out 2 garbage bags of items to donate, 1 bag of clothes to get rid of, 2 bags of trash and filled 2 Rubbermaids with items to move to the new house. If anyone, I repeat, anyone sends a toy in my child's direction between now and the end of May, you will get it. And be very scared of the yet to be determined "it." Sunday night I had the grand plan to attack all of the cobwebs hanging from the rafters in our basement. There were several things wrong with this. I am allergic to feathers. My plan involved using a feather duster. My assumption that because the duster was on a long stick it wouldn't bother me was totally wrong. Also, the copious amounts of dust flying in my face as I stood straight under the rafters I was attacking served only to exacerbate the situation. Eventually I learned to move to the side (....and only how many years of school did it take me to get this smart....). The biggest problem of them all? I had no idea that cobwebs were actually abandoned spiderwebs. Serious. I thought they were just things that happened in unused spaces when dust collected in a corner. EWWWW. I hate spiders almost as much as I hate sleeping bags. I have a completely irrational fear that makes me run out of rooms shrieking and stomping all around when I see a spider, no matter the size. For the duration of the night, I swear there were tiny spiders crawling all over me that had jumped on my when I went to rid my basement of what I thought were innocent dust collections. Never again. Never, ever again. If someone wants to buy my house, they can buy it cobwebs and all.

In other more exciting news, I have a grand total of 14 days of school left to attend. Don't kid yourself, that spreads over 3 1/2 weeks, but no one actually counts the days they don't have to be at school. Yahoo!


  1. You (more specifically Addie and coconuts) forced me to fake a cough in class just now. And for that I heart you. Also, Addie further cemented her position as my favorite friend under the age of 7.

  2. That was hard to keep up with, but I liked it. Addie is funny.