Oh, times they are a'changing

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

So perhaps Robert Frost had something slightly more monumental than my particular circumstance in mind when writing this, but I think it befitting, so I am going to roll with it. For the last year or so, my husband and I have slowly been building a life in Denver--first in our heads, then by applying for jobs and making specific contacts and researching schools and housing online. The next task to check off the list in our master plan would be to actually move there after graduation and start the life that we have been laying the foundation for for the last 7 years. Happily Ever After right?

Well every story needs a protagonist. And at this point, ours has more than a few. The biggest, scariest monster is the recession. It's secret weapon is its amazing ability to prevent me from finding a job. One of the draws of signing on the dotted line to pay $40k a year (yes, per year) to go to Wash U was the prestige and the promise of the benefits a Wash U degree would bring in the job search. Joke is on me. Thus far I have been rejected by every firm I have applied to. Ouch. Talk about some major hits to the self esteem. I do still have an iron in the fire. I have talked to a large family law firm with a small branch in Denver. I have actually emailed a few times and talked to someone on the phone...which is further than I have gotten on any of my job leads.

Enter the next protagonist--my dad. So I was complaining about the job search to my dad....to which he responded, "Well, you know you could always practice with me." And of course I brushed him off. This was not and had not ever even been on my radar. And then he added that he would soon be moving out of his house...and it would be a good place for us to live. And so the seed was planted. The idea of the SWK has suddenly gone from completely off the radar....to...well....on it.

The last few days I have been going through all the pros and cons that this could bring

Pros:

1. FAMILY! this is one huge pro. Both sides of our family live in the southwest Kansas area. Being away from any form of family has been one of the biggest drawbacks to living in St Louis and a huge component on why we don't plan to stay here.

2. Financial Independence. Making ends meet has always been a struggle. In fact, in the 7 years we have been a family, we have never been able to cut it completely on our own. I cannot tell you what a sense of relief I get when I think about the possibility of not zeroing out each month. And not just not zeroing out--but being able to start SAVING! The decreased cost of living is also a huge draw.

3. Practicing with my dad (and just having a JOB in general). Okay, I may be biased, but I think my dad is a fantastic attorney. He has a great amount of professional and community respect. Some of that would be bound to rub off on me right? Besides, stepping out into the professional world is scary. Having my dad as a mentor through that transition would be incredible.

4. Rileigh would be excited about moving there. We haven't told her this is a possibility simply because Justin and I aren't sure enough that it is a possibility and I know she would get her hopes up. She has Gavin and Olivia (her cousins) and a slew of other friends she plays with when we visit. Besides that, she would be able to attend the school my mother teaches at, which is a HUGE positive. We really love her school here and know that Miller would push and challenge her just as much as Kennerly. Besides that she would have so much more freedom. Right now it is completely out of the question to let her walk to a friends or ride her bike around the neighborhood. Its just not safe. But it would change dramatically there.

5. Being able to be home at 5 every night. I would be more in control of my schedule and could make it flexible to work around the needs of my family. I could eat lunch at Rileigh's school and help with the class parties. And when it is time to go home at the end of the night....it doesn't mean I arrive there 45 minutes later after sitting in traffic.

6. Justin has a much better shot at coaching. Lets face it. It is hard to recruit to SWK, so they are a little more flexible. Although he has been very hesitant to show any signs of interest in moving to SWK, he does perk up when thinking about the possibility of coaching at a small school like Spearville.

7. Experience. Both Justin and I would have the opportunity to make ourselves more marketable when we plan to move to a bigger location in the future. Right now we are both so green that it is proving to be an incredible disadvantage.

8. We could have another baby. Sooner, rather than later. This makes me REALLY excited.

Cons:

1. It is not what either of us had ever planned for. I think this is the hardest one to overcome, especially for Justin. We have both always been of the mindset that we would like to see what other parts of the world have to offer and to not confine ourselves to what we have always known. Growth always seems to come when you step away from what is comfortable. We question whether this would be possible if we go back to a place where we could get anywhere in town with our eyes closed.

2. Bigger cities = bigger opportunities. The things we have been able to see and do the last 3 years have been incredible. They are things that would not be possible in a rural area. If we are bored on a Saturday, we head into the city for a festival. Rileigh has seen Broadway plays. We have gone to professional sporting events and concerts without making a weekend trip out of it.

3. failure. Not that moving to Dodge City = failure. Some of the most successful and happy people I know live there. More that we have failed in our attempts to reach our goals, so we have to go to our fallback.

4. Putting goals on hold. This is more so for Justin. He was really looking forward to going back to school. It would be impossible to do so given the lack of universities in the SWK.

5. Family--we were really looking forward to living close to my brother and sister-in-law and cousins that live there.

I am sure Justin's list of cons is much longer than what I have listed, but his lists of pros are just as long. This is literally verbal vomit of all consuming thoughts that have been circling my head the past few days.

So, Mr. Frost-- here I am at the crossroads you speak of. Which one will make all the difference?

Anyone want to weigh in?